weekly write up 10/20/2024

[trainerlyra]

better late than never LOL oops. listen in my defense on sunday i was trying to beat this dragon boss and on monday i was trying to beat this dragon boss and-

monday: i am once again regretting forgetting to update more frequently LOL i actually have just not been online much the last few days (mostly bc of Game) so i have a bit of catching up to do! otherwise, it was a monday. i worked. kyle brought me home a cupcake and a candle from this bake sale down the street:
 

the cupcake was apple cinnamon flavor and it was positively delightful. the candle is peach scented! it uses this really nice shea butter or something. makes everything smell very nice but not overpowering. i am a scented candle girlie so this made me very happy lol. otherwise on monday i, uh, played metaphor refantazio LOL you will find the majority of this week... was me playing metaphor refantazio..... i did a bit of writing as well, but it was during my lunch break and then it was.... right back to game after work....... it's a really good game y'all. i won't say too much for spoiler reasons, i'll def write a thing up on it once i finish it, but i am 60 hours in and it's SO good. junah is best girl. love her a lot. i like eupha a ton too. i like the whole cast really. there's not a character i'm not even just somewhat fond of. anyways! monday was boring besides games. oh, and i also realized that my friends might not have seen the scalemate my old tumblr best friend made for me like. over a decade ago. so here's a picture of my beloved madame cherrytail:


i was going to put her in storage but kyle was like "no???? she stays on the couch???" because he has always been really fond of her LOL. you can tell how well loved she is - i used to bring her to school with me every day during my last year! to clarify, i did not go to public school, i went to weird hippie school, so bringing stuffed animals was a common occurrence lol

tuesday: starting the morning off right by pulling the halloween iono alt first try!


i am so fond of iono. i love her design and her insane personality a lot lmao. she's super cute here also! flutter mane's color palette looks surprisingly nice with her hair? anyways.

the other nice tuesday morning thing was the shugo chara chapter! i... still don't really know what to think of it yet? i miss ikuto. give me my amuto interactions i feel they've gotta come at some point considering all the recent merch has strictly been amuto LOLLL. but i'm enjoying it anyway. tuesday also marked my latest amiami package arrival:
 

hibari was immediately banished to my closet bc i have not a fucking clue where i want to put him rn lol. clerith are sitting next to my desk... i still have to rearrange my top shelf so i can throw them up on my desk. i think i'll move my amu nendo to where my shugo chara books are and put them there? idk, brain not working much lately. they're REALLY cute figures, though.

after work i just. went right back to metaphor LOL. like immediately. i can't even tell you where in the game i was bc i've been playing most of my waking hours that aren't spent at work so i am lost for what happened when. all i know is that this is probably going to be my GOTY pick, which is crazy considering we got a remake of my favorite game (sort of) of all time with persona 3 reload, AND final fantasy rebirth this year. among many other stellar releases (unicorn overlord, for example).

wednesday: starts with an evil calendar page:


evil. cruel. at least we can count this as a confirmation of what we all knew his final words were anyway LOL. though there was talk in the TB discord some time ago where we came to an agreement that it was probably actually "愛していた", i love(d) you. the insane over-analyzing can actually been seen here, if you were curious as to how we came to this conclusion. it, uh, gets a little bit insane, because that is just the clamp way. moving on!

wednesday i FINALLY got all my esketamine treatments scheduled. i'm very nervous about it? if it doesn't work idk what i'm gonna do lol this is basically my last resort... but i start at the end of october so you'll all hear about it sooner rather than later. i was going to cook but i was exhausted from work and, predictably, went right back to refantazio as soon as i clocked out, so kyle just told me to order us pizza LOL:


not pictured, my jalepeno poppers also, because i adore jalepeno poppers. 

thursday: as jason is gearing up for the holiday season at new store opening, we are going without weekly hangouts at least until the end of the month :( i think we're also changing the day to wednesdays? either way tho i was sad i miss him lol. i was also sad because i realized that despite how WARM its been for almost november - seriously, it was like almost 80 today, what the fuck i am in BOSTON - that fall was really happening and the days have gotten short enough to make kyle and i sad orz


on the plus side, it comes with very pretty trees! here is the beginning of this tree's turning. other thursday things, uhhh.... game? LOL. i did actually get some writing done, and i posted the first write up (and subsequently forgot to finish the others.. whoops, it'll happen soon, when i am done with game or maybe during stupid work webinars) but other than that... just game. kyle is truly the best because he understands that at new jrpg releases i must binge play the game until i am finished with it, generally within 2 weeks of release, and has lovingly left me alone when i am sitting at my desk for hours on end.... 

friday: during my lunch break i did indeed finish a small fic! but it's for an exchange so nobody can see it yet lol. goal accomplished!

before i could get right back to refantazio after work, i did have to go to my psych appointment. so i put on real person clothes, like a real person


this was such a fuckin lazy outfit LOL but still, i got dressed, which is better than i have been able to say for myself most days recently. psych appointment went well, she said that we are not changing a single thing with my meds until after my ketamine therapy, because we have no idea what i will need or what things will look like and she doesn't want to invite too many variables, which i thought was reasonable. she also reassured me that despite the insane amount of serotonin syndrome causing things i'm on that my vitals were very normal (for me), which was good and helped me be less anxious. after my appointment i changed back into pajamas once i got home LOL and immediately went to refantazio land. man even if i wasn't insane and needed to play jrpgs in bursts like this instead of spreading things out, i would still be playing this much. the story is just. so fucking good. i think it's one of atlus' best, which is kinda crazy.

so for full friday enjoyment, i microwaved my bagel bites and got a vitamin water pff


bagel bites are delicious, i will not listen to any bagel bites slander. so i played refantazio until like idk 3:30am? around there. and then i started getting ready for bed and realized oh my god i am in so much pain. and that continued. and i could not fall asleep. at all. whatsoever. because i was in so much pain sobs. so i ended up getting out of bed at around idk 5am and going to prop myself up on the couch in hopes it would help even just a little... i did eventually pass out at almost 6, please look at my very depressing pokemon sleep:


extremely depressing. more depressing that my sleep before that was not even an hour more lmfao. but anyways! so that really sucked.

saturday: thus at like 8:30 kyle came out to check on me and to see why i wasn't in bed and i told him i was just in a ton of pain and i couldn't sleep and was exhausted, so he despite being the most not-morning person i have ever met in my life set up the bed fully so i was supported and could rest in bed instead of on the couch. i wasn't able to go back to sleep, but it was much more comfortable thankfully. the pain, however did not stop :( it's like the worst flare up i've had in months orz. anyways, at like 11:30 i finally had enough energy (after kyle brought me some breakfast too) to get up and greet the day with my beloved:


TBX may be the current clamp hyperfixation, but xxxholic has been my favorite clamp work since i was like idk 12. i love watanuki so dearly. anyways, once i was up, it was back to refantazio... kyle asked if i wanted him to stay home or if i wanted to be alone in the house for awhile since when i'm in pain i sometimes really need to be alone, and i said yeah some alone time would be good. so he told me to order lunch and to call him if i needed him to come home :') thus, i started up my ps5 and took him up on that offer:


not pictured are also the vegetarian spring rolls that were perfection. i tried a new thai place, and was super impressed by how clear their vegetarian options were and the fact that they had actual fake meat substitutes for almost everything!? god bless i was so pumped i need to order from there again. this was also lowkey the best fried rice i'd had in a hot minute. it was so fluffy and the tofu was cooked perfectly. so that bolstered my spirits even though i was still in terrible pain lol. also to bolster my spirits i was able to put a dessert place on my order:


sweets date for the boys! don't be fooled, i was playing refantazio this entire time. i did not stop, except for the very brief moment that my hoarded seisub stuff came in:


quick overview! i got the little notepad, the two acrylic blocks, the face towel, and what i thought was a glasses cleaning cloth lol. no i did not get a second set of seisub plush... yet. anyways, the notepad is super adorable:
 

absolutely adore the artt they chose for it. it's a really cute size too, can fit really easily in any of my bags! i'm obsessed with stationary, if you didn't know lol. next up is what i THOUGHT was like a small cloth but was actually a very large bandana sized thing?


i didn't pay attention to the listing other than seeing it was new in packaging still and just clicked buy lol but that's fine. maybe i'll give it a gentle iron and get a frame or something?? i genuinely have no idea how to display this. feel free to give thoughts lmao. and then, of course, i had to get the most insane face towel:


like, seriously? who puts these panels on a FACE TOWEL? it makes me laugh so much i'm obsessed with it. it's also printed really well? i'm honestly super impressed with all of the exhibition merch i've purchased thus far. now i just have the subaru gloves and the playing cards to get and i think i will be mostly satisfied!

and then after that brief interlude it was back to refantazio. kyle called me in the evening to check on me, i was still in a lot of pain and he was invited to go to a small get together for AAC with some friends and i told him to go right on ahead and enjoy himself because i would feel better knowing he was out having fun. and also because i didn't mind playing more game. i played for a total of... 12 hours? saturday? that sounds right. sane, normal things to do, i know. when kyle came home at like 1am he said he had a surprise for me which turned out to be


WORM ON A STRING!!!!! IN PINK!!!! apparently a girl at the party had a whole bag of them and was handing them out so kyle asked for a pink one for me lol. i was so happy. unfortunately i was still in horrible pain so it was difficult to fall asleep again, but thankfully i conked out at like 3 instead of almost 6.

sunday: exhaustion! pain STILL BAD! so time for more refantazio, of coourse. i played. and then i took a shower at 3pm ish. and then i went back to playing. and played until around 7, where i finally looked at the announcement for the orv novel printing in english and immediately wanted to cry because they changed the name order (dokja kim instead of kim dokja...), removed honorifics, and changed dokkaebi to fucking. goblin. which considering yenpress also publishes the webtoon that uses dokkaebi it just seemed so fucking lazy and honestly kind of racist? like what fucking year is it? so that bummed me out really bad because i make no exaggeration when i say that orv is the single most important piece of media i have ever consumed and it touched me on a level i have never experienced before. 

but! game. game is REALLY GOOD still. sunday i finally got to the start of the final arc, the last 3ish in game weeks. i was floored by some of the more pivotal moments during my playing on sunday. this is the first game in a long time that has actually managed to surprise me with its twists!!! so that was cool. at like 8pm kyle realized he was supposed to go drop off this switch lite and a few games he'd grabbed for our friend jorie because among other things that her ex stole, her switch was also taken during the divorce! >:( so we decided we'd buy her a switch lite and i'd lend her some games because winter in boston can be very depressing lol. so he made me avocado toast:


and off we went! i was still in horrible pain so i was glad this outing was just "sit in passenger's seat, briefly hug friend" lol. my meds were ready to be picked up tho so he went in and grabbed them for me. when we got home, i went back to refantazio (lol) and ended up at this dragon boss.... i was not smart and did not pay attention to "order" what a silly thing so i challenged the most difficult of these bosses first without realizing. and because i'm me and i'm horribly stubborn, i refuse to waste an in-game day and thus committed to defeating this thing hilariously underlevelled with a noticeable lack of items! and that, friends, is how my weekend ended

last week's goals: did you guys maybe notice... i made it through TWO FULL WEEKS!! of no breakdowns!! lmao god it sounds so depressing when i put it like that but considering how the last couple of months have been going for me, i'm extremely proud of myself. turns out playing a video game for 5+ hours every day is good for your mental health /s

hopes for next week: did i beat the dragon boss? stayed tuned...

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[vriddy]

Hope you've been doing okay lately!