trainerlyra: (rin1)
[personal profile] trainerlyra
wow what a week. lmao

monday: disaster! where did we leave off i barely remember. it's been such a blur this week. oh yes of course i woke up to my monday morning alarm, sat in front of my work laptop, looked at the screen, and said nope nope nope. i HATE calling out especially when i have only been there a month, taking unpaid days sucks but more so i just hate seeming unreliable (i am insane about work ethic), but there was absolutely no way i was going to be effective in any way shape or form. like none. i would probably make things WORSE, lmao, so instead i. called out. messaged my supervisor like sorry migraine bye. and then sat on the couch for a long time. than migrated to the bed and sat THERE for a long time. like the whole day. i woke up at 8am and got out of bed at uhh. i wanna say. 7pm? idk. i literally just read old fic all day and. idk? what happened after?

oh, the one fun thing about monday:


my watch does "sleep animals", aka animals that you are "most like" in terms of sleeping habits, and though it wasn't a GOOD THING i am happy to be a shark. i love sharks more than almost anything lol.

i uhhh. hm. what else. i think kyle and i talked for awhile about what happened. he was concerned about the frequency of my issues lately. so we talked for a bit. and then he was like okay. all done. we are going to just move on and so he just... did? idk. it was a weird/bad night for me. i'm so all over the place lately. i don't even fully remember what else was going on monday LOL. moving on!

tuesday: a better (?) day! i think. i first remember getting two (!!) very good packages:


firstly! a small package from my jp proxy. the calendar from the clamp exhibition had been sold out by the time my best friend was there, so i just went on jp mercari and found myself one lol. for those of you who haven't seen it, it's a daily calendar, so can be used any month/year! there are two sides, the "love" side, which includes iconic moments depicting all kinds of love from their series - notably, of course, some very painful moments like rainbow bridge in x and clone sakura's confession in trc....... thank you, clamp, so much, for that LOL. the pokemon mate charm is just bc i realized i had somehow lost mine!! so i needed to fix that. i love ferriswheel soooo much, but also it's my favorite merch collection like ever from the pokemon center. its SO cute. also crazy, because i remember getting mine for like $65? not scalped either it was just hard to come by back then. but i bought this for $9 LOL.

secondly:


new book day! i've been so excited for 86 alter, i just. love shinlena SO MUCH, so it's so nice to see them happy....there's some really interesting character combos in this too, which i appreciate. and of course, wmmap. i have read it all, i just really like that i can own it haha. seven sea's manhwa printing is wicked nice, for the record. the glossy pages look great and the covers are nice and thick, anyway!

for lunch i was feeling very lazy so microwave meal. however i will say. the stupid lean cuisine butternut squash ravioli. best fuckin microwave meal i have ever had. it's SO good.


i also decided to go grab one of the new metaphor: refantazio drinks at kft! i'll def be picking up the others, but have a seisub date:


and finally for tuesday, i also made what i affectionately call "tiktok pasta" for dinner LOL. leo told me the recipe that he found on tiktok which i have never and will never touch, and i make it pretty frequently now. this time i modified it to include artichoke hearts and red kidney beans! we also gave whole wheat pasta a try in my attempts to match my dad's new diet to make him feel better about having to change everything he'd been doing for 70 years lol.


wednesday: let's start off with this thing i bought LOL i had some money on mercari from selling, and the seller also cut the price in half, so i wasn't like... gonna say NO to buying a cute liz lisa skirt:

i like, also did not realize? how much liz lisa stuff i have at this point? lmao, i really need to do my wardrobe post at some point... soon.... anyways, that was like. the good part of wednesday lol. the other good part was kyle made dinner which i forgot to take a pic of bc i was EXHAUSTED. i have NOT been sleeping well. wednesday i actually woke up 45 minutes LATE FOR WORK which i have done a total of like 3 times in my entire life and one of those was a sunday recently. so clearly we are reaching the ends of my ability to function on 3 hours of sleep total, which is a good thing, because i would really like to go back to averaging 5 instead of 3.5........ but uh, somehow, nobody? noticed? not a single person. nobody said anything, nobody had messaged me, i hadn't missed any calls... so i was like.... okay. i'll take it. lmao. so yeah kyle ended up making me food lol. it was very nice. i still couldn't get into bed any earlier than like, 2. sobs.

literally the only other highlight from wednesday was that there was a new seisub fic and the author recognized me and said they are a big fan of my seisubs which made me really happy. but yeah wednesday was. exhaustion day. lmao

thursday: work was. a mess. my supervisor and i just have SUCH different teaching/learning styles, and such different priorities. but mostly, i was expecting this job to be much more admin focused - in both interviews, it was always "a lot of your day will be solving billing questions!". i should have rejected it on the spot when i saw the title was still coordinator rather than anything else lmfao so i am boo boo the fool. and it's not that i don't like the work, i genuinely love working in this field and doing insurance work and billing and checking paperwork etc. i do NOT love answering emails and phones and scheduling everyone all the time. i also cannot deal with my supervisor's insane need to make EVERYTHING a video call. i don't learn that way! i need to read and reference instructions! not watch a fuckin video every time i need to learn something!! i do not remember things when you are telling to me over video!!! anyways.

so work was a disaster. because i basically was told like i'm not doing things in the priority she wants them done, and i just had nothing to say because... i took the job to do insurance work not soothe clients on the phone when they need to change an appointment... but my review was supposed to be friday so i held my tongue and figured i'd get a good chance to address it then. most of this day was spent cleaning up the stupid list website she uses lmao. and i don't mind it but it's not how my brain organizes things but i'm not allowed to just make my own so. sigh. i really should've known. i am having a lot of trouble adjusting to having been in supervisor positions since 2021ish to suddenly being Not That and having none agency freedom independence. etc. and please know that i am usually an insane workaholic. i was known for being three weeks ahead of everything in the offices i ran. i kept meticulously organized and would work OT of my own accord to make sure everything was done properly.

ANYWAYS! thursday finally meant jason time again, so we went over to his new place that evening. i'm so glad i really missed him. we didn't get a chance to go to his store opening but the toy store he was promoted to owner/manager finally opened!!!! i'm so proud of him. i love you so much. anyways obligatory creature photo:


i love you creature. i am terrified of you but i adore you. j also had these uhhh. corn fudge candies??


did NOT love it the way i was hoping lmfao. i love corn and i love fudge but this was not it... neither was the dinner we got unfortunately. we decided on thai, and i got the vegetarian pad thai w/ tofu and it was just.. not the kind i like i guess? which is a shame bc the tofu was actually cooked perfectly:


its fine though kyle ate what i didn't (which was most of the meal lol). we watched a few more eps of demon slayer, we're done with the first season now! i can definitely see why people praise it so much, the writing is solid, the plot is easy to follow while being interesting, and the art style is gorgeous and expressive. ufotable did a great job with the adaptation. anyways kyle nd i headed home around ~12, but uhhh unfortunately i had another. issue. that night. and started a whole thing again and i am so sorry kyle if you ever decide to read my journal i am sure you are SO exhausted from dealing with me lately. i wish i knew what was wrong with me. well we know. but like. you know. lmao. anyways he was so very patient and told me after giving me some time to come back down to earth to just sit, reset fully, and then get into bd and try and sleep so that is what i did.

friday: okay it's couch day. and also supposed review day. review did not end up happening bc supervisor was a whole TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LATE lmao so that was a whole lotta anxiety for nothing! more important, though, is couch:


here it is in all its glory sort of LOL. thankfully kyle ended up being home to deal with it so i just continued working while this was getting placed lol. this is not where it was going to live but just there bc kyle didn't end up moving stuff in the bedroom for it yet. so he was like okay will is coming over at 7:30 and we're gonna move everything! and i was like Okay. lmao i had no horse in this race. yet.

a tragedy in three parts:


part one, the great migration (moving everything out of the bedroom besides the furniture)



part two, the great blockage (couch cannot fit through door to our bedroom)



part three, the great forsaking (giving up on initial plan)

lmao yeah so my wonderful but very easily distracted by excitement husband forgot to measure our door to be sure whatever he was buying could FIT.... we tried. EVERYTHING. i mean everything. we almost tried to take it apart but when we opened the fabric thing on the bottom to look it was not put together in a way we could probably put BACK together so we gave up and decided to put it in the living room.... i am scribbled out bc i was not looking great and not prepared for photos LMAO. kyle's desk used to be where the couch is, my blue bookshelf was where his desk is, and the tiny baby green couch was where the bookshelf is. we moved that into the bedroom instead:


so we moved the bed and everything else for nothing basically LOL god it was awful. will and i went to grab BK bc kyle needed to eat after having a meltdown (and not like my emotional outbursts, husband is on the spectrum) and we had a nice conversation lol. but yeah after all that we decided. to deal w the bean bag in the morning

saturday: so we were supposed to go out to lunch with friends, but we were initially gonna go early-ish. kyle texted to let them know we were pushing it back bc i needed to stay up late after doing nothing but moving furniture and stressing lmao. so i puttered around in the morning, and kyle tried to figure out the bean bag situation. eventually he ended up deciding on moving my bookshelf and putting it vertically next to the couch and moving the bean bag in the living room. this gave us a chance to redo my display so i was okay with it. unfortunately then he got ahead of himself and started trying to get me to redo my shelves that have not needed to be moved and i get REAL touchy about my stuff. trauma! it does things to you. i am particularly sensitive about that kinda thing. so i realized i was gonna get not good so went into the bedroom to cool off.

unfortunately kyle was at his breaking point of stress and breakdowns from me and it was a whole thing. yall i did NOT used to be like this. i think it's the medication. i have always had issues obviously hence the need for the meds but as i said last week. it's been ROUGH. i did not used to be this hostile. kyle is genuinely a saint. for dealing with me so much lmao. so after a LONG while. we finally got to sorting my shelves out. and also dealing with the pile of books in the back hall that was almost 5 feet tall............ they did come out nicely i think!


here's the blue one! bc it's vertical and not up against a all, somehow we have... a lot more room? so despite putting in a huge stack of books... we have... more space than when we started? idk it's magic but i'll take it. kyle had a hand in a lot of these bc he's particular about them lmao. my ccs sakura figma is currently in repair mode (she fell off her wand....again.........) so she'll go up in the figma corner once that's fixed lol.



my meds and stuff used to be on my black bookshelf but they have been taken away from me until further notice and kyle is just giving me my meds when i need them instead orz. but yeah i'm pleased with the shelves for the time being. i am sure i'll have another stack of books soon enough, but for now! it's good. we're not going to talk about the giant pile of books that my in laws have in their attic of mine. lmao

so this took ALL DAY basically on saturday, so we did not end up doing anything else really, which is fine. i don't think i had the energy.

sunday: i worked mostly! part time job. i mostly edited today, since i wanted to finish up this part. i think it came out well, i'll try to share when the full mep is up! i saw my dad, of course, which as good. i missed him. i always miss him lol. unfortunately after he left my body revolted and i was SO sick suddenly. not like illness but like. definitely an eds thing orz. i almost threw up twice. i'm still feeling awful, tbh. this also meant unfortunately i was rushing to get out of there and somehow... managed to leave my LAPTOP CHARGER AT THE DESK............. i was so so upset. i have done that NONE TIMES in TEN YEARS of working there. kyle saw me start crying bc wow no stress tolerance! and was like ok. we're just. gonna drive back and get it lmao. so i helped him figure out some billing stuff since his invoices go out tomorrow for the month, and then he took me over there. we talked a lot about the hurricane that's been happening. i have some really close friends down in TN, and one of his favorite old clients who he still keeps in touch with is in NC, so i've been wicked concerned about them. thankfully almost all the people we know are accounted for and safe, but we're still waiting to hear back from his client... i just looked at the town this evening and while there was a good chunk of damage they aren't underwater at least. god, it's so awful. i feel like the last one this bad was katrina. my heart really goes out to everyone.

but yeah we've just been hanging out tonight. i'm so tired. i was gonna write, but i think i might just play genshin/zzz for a bit and call it... sigh. so yeah that was my week! i did a decent chunk of writing and gaming in between but nothing substantial. i would like to get back to goody two shoes this week :')

i'm wicked nervous about tomorrow's work day. i have my review for real this time and honestly. i just. i LIKE the work i do but this is not what i was looking for lmao. idk. im so. ehhh. i feel so. maybe its me! maybe its me. maybe its not the job. idk anymore and tbh i don't think i really care lmao. tho at least the drama in the orv GO group i use is keeping me distracted lol. but fr i really hope this all settles soon. i am so sick of Things Happening. can things not happen for 7 days. just 7. lmao

last week's goals: failed MASSIVELY lmao

hopes for next week:
(cries)
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