weekly write up 6/9/2024
Jun. 9th, 2024 08:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trainerlyrayeesh, i am exhausted. this week was a bit rough emotionally. but that is indeed the point of doing these, so...
monday: returning from germany.... the morning was a bit rough as kyle was still pretty irritated with me from the argument we'd had the night before OTL but we worked it out. red came with us to the airport, which was an adventure.... fuck the frankfurt airport lmao. she was not on our flight this time around so it was just me and him. he slept through most of it, i played a bit on my vita but mostly i reread the entirety of x on the flight.. that was fun. it helped a bit with the terrible fear of flying anxiety LOL. the food i bought for us on the plane also rocked. the covered thing is curry with tofu!
but it was good to be home. once we got home we just hung out, played video games etc. i've been replaying (sort of) digimon cyber sleuth, this time on steam. i've started it 3 times and stopped at the same 20-ish hour mark each time, so i'm hoping i can actually get through it this time? lmao. but yes, home. it was good to see the ocean again, i don't like being landlocked:
tuesday: return to normal life! this was mostly a laundry/cleaning day. i unpacked, of course, which meant i could put all my pokemon plush back in the suitcase i keep them in (tiny apartment, lmao). below are my favorites/most expensive, and also what things look like once they're in there LOL. i wonder if the pkmncollectors group on LJ is still going? a lot of my good cyndaquil/torchic finds are from there back in 2015.
once that was done, i finished out the current eng dub of pokemon horizons on netflix. i really do like it a lot! which surprised me, i wasn't really ready to let go of ash lol. but i love liko!! also, our friend jorie came over. mostly kyle's friend. but she's really a nice person, just has been going through a lot with her divorce etc orz. so even though i was exhausted, i didn't mind her being there. she needs some friends.
wednesday: mostly more laundry. i didn't really. do much? besides my interview, which i think went really well! it took about an hour between the both of them, and they seemed glad i was engaged and asking questions about the company/the position which is always a good sign. they also followed up with me within the next few hours to complete a behavioral thing? so hopefully that means good news! honestly, i don't know if i'm really ready to go back to work? i'm not. good. mentally still. but this is a good salary, full time remote, and i'd be working with mari, so if they offer the job i'm gonna take it. orz.
thursday: jason day! he came over to our place this week. we watched another few episodes of demon slayer, which i'm really enjoying so far, and we bleached his hair. i forget entirely that he's not blonde until he gets a haircut like, every time LOL. it had been a hot minute since i got to do his hair, i was glad to, really. i also bought the dvd of the tokyo babylon OVA, so we can watch that (+the really bad X movie, at some point), which will be fun lol.
friday: invasion of the ants :( it's that time of year where our landlord refuses to seal up some areas so its ant season. sigh. i put out the traps but i have the bad bug crawling hallucinations and bugs are a thing i like ocd fixate on, so it was kind of a miserable day in that respect. i was also crunching on birthday parts for lena, whose birthday was saturday! i got them done but at what cost to my sanity. i watched the summer game fest livestream, nothing really crazy for me but there were some cool things i guess. kyle was out late with will, and i was not feeling the best physically (or mentally) which kinda sucked. i was a bit of a jerk on the phone with him, which. i never feel good about.
saturday: the day STARTED fine... we had a nice morning together, i took a shower, we walked to cvs to grab my prescriptions, normal stuff. then we were supposed to go pick up stuff from his friend and he wanted to hang out with will & jorie. they wanted to go into boston for pride bar hopping and that's just. NOT a thing i am interested in, in any way shape or form. so i was like ehhh. also i wanted to watch the future games showcase in the car and he didn't, and he'd just cleaned his car which always makes him a little irritable, so it was a bad start... so combined with me being a jerk the night before and not wanting to go bar hopping (esp during pride, which is my least favorite, bc its not really "for pride" 90% of the time it's straight people taking up our spaces and using it as a chance to party which makes me SO angry) we got into a fight. he left, i needed the space to calm down... but he came back worried (and also angry) because of a few of my suicide scares earlier this year. i really needed to be left alone, because i could feel myself losing control, but he didn't want to do that, and i like. snapped. badly. i don't even remember all that happened, i know that i really hurt him. a lot. and that i was angrier than i'd been in years. the last time i think i was that out of control angry was when i was living with my mother, so that wasn't very fun. for me either. eventually, after making him cry and having him reach his limit it calmed down but i was not. okay. still. and am still not okay really. so that really sucked!! very much sucked horribly actually!!! and that was the day. it literally took the rest of the day and then we just ordered qdoba because we were too tired to cook and needed to eat and did nothing and i went to bed early because i'd exhausted myself from being that angry.
sunday: and now we are here... i had work today, but it's been very quiet since it was pouring rain earlier. which is good. my orv dolls from that kickstarter came in, they are very cute! so there's that. also this skirt is newish, it's my first black liz lisa piece actually! i really like the darker colors from liz lisa, i'm obsessed with the navy they do but now i think i have to get some more in black as well. i'll start hunting things down again... once i have a salary lolol
idk what we're doing tonight. not sure. i still feel like shit. mentally. lol. but we'll see. kyle wants me to relax after i get home but idk if i can LOL. i did just get gifted some fresh banana bread though so at least i can give him that as a peace offering... i'll probably try and do some writing and maybe finish one of these birthday mep parts or play more cyber sleuth. idk. maybe all.
last week's goals? i did accomplish them, i think! i tackled a lot of the laundry (need more quarters), i have like 18 hours in cyber sleuth, and i think my interview went great. so at least there's that!
hopes for next week-
monday: returning from germany.... the morning was a bit rough as kyle was still pretty irritated with me from the argument we'd had the night before OTL but we worked it out. red came with us to the airport, which was an adventure.... fuck the frankfurt airport lmao. she was not on our flight this time around so it was just me and him. he slept through most of it, i played a bit on my vita but mostly i reread the entirety of x on the flight.. that was fun. it helped a bit with the terrible fear of flying anxiety LOL. the food i bought for us on the plane also rocked. the covered thing is curry with tofu!
but it was good to be home. once we got home we just hung out, played video games etc. i've been replaying (sort of) digimon cyber sleuth, this time on steam. i've started it 3 times and stopped at the same 20-ish hour mark each time, so i'm hoping i can actually get through it this time? lmao. but yes, home. it was good to see the ocean again, i don't like being landlocked:
tuesday: return to normal life! this was mostly a laundry/cleaning day. i unpacked, of course, which meant i could put all my pokemon plush back in the suitcase i keep them in (tiny apartment, lmao). below are my favorites/most expensive, and also what things look like once they're in there LOL. i wonder if the pkmncollectors group on LJ is still going? a lot of my good cyndaquil/torchic finds are from there back in 2015.
once that was done, i finished out the current eng dub of pokemon horizons on netflix. i really do like it a lot! which surprised me, i wasn't really ready to let go of ash lol. but i love liko!! also, our friend jorie came over. mostly kyle's friend. but she's really a nice person, just has been going through a lot with her divorce etc orz. so even though i was exhausted, i didn't mind her being there. she needs some friends.
wednesday: mostly more laundry. i didn't really. do much? besides my interview, which i think went really well! it took about an hour between the both of them, and they seemed glad i was engaged and asking questions about the company/the position which is always a good sign. they also followed up with me within the next few hours to complete a behavioral thing? so hopefully that means good news! honestly, i don't know if i'm really ready to go back to work? i'm not. good. mentally still. but this is a good salary, full time remote, and i'd be working with mari, so if they offer the job i'm gonna take it. orz.
thursday: jason day! he came over to our place this week. we watched another few episodes of demon slayer, which i'm really enjoying so far, and we bleached his hair. i forget entirely that he's not blonde until he gets a haircut like, every time LOL. it had been a hot minute since i got to do his hair, i was glad to, really. i also bought the dvd of the tokyo babylon OVA, so we can watch that (+the really bad X movie, at some point), which will be fun lol.
friday: invasion of the ants :( it's that time of year where our landlord refuses to seal up some areas so its ant season. sigh. i put out the traps but i have the bad bug crawling hallucinations and bugs are a thing i like ocd fixate on, so it was kind of a miserable day in that respect. i was also crunching on birthday parts for lena, whose birthday was saturday! i got them done but at what cost to my sanity. i watched the summer game fest livestream, nothing really crazy for me but there were some cool things i guess. kyle was out late with will, and i was not feeling the best physically (or mentally) which kinda sucked. i was a bit of a jerk on the phone with him, which. i never feel good about.
saturday: the day STARTED fine... we had a nice morning together, i took a shower, we walked to cvs to grab my prescriptions, normal stuff. then we were supposed to go pick up stuff from his friend and he wanted to hang out with will & jorie. they wanted to go into boston for pride bar hopping and that's just. NOT a thing i am interested in, in any way shape or form. so i was like ehhh. also i wanted to watch the future games showcase in the car and he didn't, and he'd just cleaned his car which always makes him a little irritable, so it was a bad start... so combined with me being a jerk the night before and not wanting to go bar hopping (esp during pride, which is my least favorite, bc its not really "for pride" 90% of the time it's straight people taking up our spaces and using it as a chance to party which makes me SO angry) we got into a fight. he left, i needed the space to calm down... but he came back worried (and also angry) because of a few of my suicide scares earlier this year. i really needed to be left alone, because i could feel myself losing control, but he didn't want to do that, and i like. snapped. badly. i don't even remember all that happened, i know that i really hurt him. a lot. and that i was angrier than i'd been in years. the last time i think i was that out of control angry was when i was living with my mother, so that wasn't very fun. for me either. eventually, after making him cry and having him reach his limit it calmed down but i was not. okay. still. and am still not okay really. so that really sucked!! very much sucked horribly actually!!! and that was the day. it literally took the rest of the day and then we just ordered qdoba because we were too tired to cook and needed to eat and did nothing and i went to bed early because i'd exhausted myself from being that angry.
sunday: and now we are here... i had work today, but it's been very quiet since it was pouring rain earlier. which is good. my orv dolls from that kickstarter came in, they are very cute! so there's that. also this skirt is newish, it's my first black liz lisa piece actually! i really like the darker colors from liz lisa, i'm obsessed with the navy they do but now i think i have to get some more in black as well. i'll start hunting things down again... once i have a salary lolol
idk what we're doing tonight. not sure. i still feel like shit. mentally. lol. but we'll see. kyle wants me to relax after i get home but idk if i can LOL. i did just get gifted some fresh banana bread though so at least i can give him that as a peace offering... i'll probably try and do some writing and maybe finish one of these birthday mep parts or play more cyber sleuth. idk. maybe all.
last week's goals? i did accomplish them, i think! i tackled a lot of the laundry (need more quarters), i have like 18 hours in cyber sleuth, and i think my interview went great. so at least there's that!
hopes for next week-
- organize my closet a bit, try to utilize the new vacuum bags for storage
- be better about cooking this week, no more ordering breakfast bc i'm feeling lazy orz
- try to finish at least one seisub fic for tanabata fest!
