weekly write up 8/18/2024
Aug. 18th, 2024 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trainerlyraalright, survival accomplished, and we're in a better place again lol.
monday: monday starts off early as all hell by heading into the research institute to do my very long 10.5 hour research visit... despite the issues kyle and i had been having sunday, he still insisted on driving me into the institute, cancelling his morning walks, and staying until after the first treatment was done for moral support and also just so he could understand what the fuck they were doing to his wife lol. it was a weird day, so i'll take it from the top.
basically, it was a TMS study. i think i mentioned, but they were specifically testing the usage of TMS for suicidal ideation in people with borderline personality disorder. so it was a different area of the brain from the standard depression and anxiety/OCD TMS treatments. they also wanted to test if they could do it basically in one long day rather than having patients come in every single weekday for weeks on end. so first thing they did was make the brain map, which involved seeing the lowest possible pulse point to trigger a motor reaction in my hand. all very interesting. i apparently needed quite a lot for my size? which i guess shouldn't surprise me lol that would be what happens to me. anyways, then it was time for the first treatment, which was a bizarre experience. i'd never even heard of TMS until this research study, so i had no idea how it worked, but they basically had to like... calibrate? the map of your brain? to the machine? before each treatment. idk how to describe it. it involved a lot of poking my skull with a metal rod and then attaching giant things to my skull lol. the treatments themselves were on a 9 minute and 47 second pattern, and my jaw would twitch with every single pulse which was not very comfortable, but over the course of the day that at least got a little better... but yeah, the treatment overall freaked kyle out for a bit so he kept asking a million questions, but by the end of the first one he was feeling more comfortable. the research team led me to my private rest room for the day, kyle got me some food from the vending machines, and then once i assured him i would be okay he took off and i began my full day of tetsting.
because i was there all day doing so many sessions, i was just told to keep the connector things on me all day, resulting in me walking around looking like this for the entirety of the visit:
god, i need a haircut. anyways.
the way it was structured was that i would get around 45 minutes of private rest, go in for my treatment, rinse and repeat until 10 sessions had been accomplished. i brought my switch, case file compendium 1 and 2, as well as my phone obviously, so i mostly spent the rest sessions reading either fic, my books, or fate/stay night. i had a very mediocre lunch from the cafeteria, as they had like... 2 vegetarian options and one of those was just roasted vegetables LMAO. i finished case file 1, started case file 2 despite not really knowing how to feel about it. the treatments were fine, honestly, and went by much faster than i expected. i kept microsleeping though because i never sleep more than 4 hours these days, so that was kind of unpleasant, but whatever. then i headed on home.
when i got home exhaustion really hit, and i had a nasty fucking headache from the constant jaw movement (thanks, TMJ), and also just the. pulsing all day. that shit is louder than i thought it would be for a magnet moving your brain waves around. i basically stayed up and just did about nothing the rest of the evening. kyle took care of me, though, which was nice, despite things still being fairly awkward between us. honestly my brain was fairly mushy after all that, though, so i could not tell you what else i did that evening after i got home at around 8pm.
tuesday: and here's where things went bad lmao. the day started off pretty routine despite the headache and jaw pain still being an issue. pretty early that morning i had a phone interview with a speech therapy practice for a full-time remote PCC/OM position, which is basically the dream, so i was glad that despite my exhaustion i managed to impress her and set up a real interview for friday.
i was very brain-fried all day after that, so spent the morning kind of just puttering around. i was so mushy i don't really remember much. i had a psych appointment at 1:30, she increased my adhd med dosage, and we'll check in again next week to see if i need to go further, which she is expecting to. went back home and just started progressively feeling worse and worse. like i was exhausted and foggy, but at that point i was getting. like. disengaged? i was having trouble finding the will to do anything, or joy in literally anything. like i'm the kind of person who even when depressed loves video games or w/e, but i had just. no desire to do anything. i just sat and stared at a wall for an entire fucking hour it was bad.
like, i couldn't even appreciate fully that my p3p limitedrun box finally came in:
which, by the way, the shirt is the most comfortable pajama shirt i own now lol. but i couldn't even be excited about it!!!
kyle ended up letting me know will was coming over and staying the night, and i tried hard to be like, alive for that interaction. we got pizza and sat on the porch and ate and all i could think about was how fucking empty i felt. it was really bad. i was actually starting to scare myself. kyle & my friends were of the belief that it was a TMS dip, meaning i had gotten the actual treatment and not the placebo, but i had no idea what to think. probably because thinking was too much effort. it was a really, really bad night. kyle, despite being really distant, actually asked in complete seriousness if i was going to be safe home alone the next day.
after pizza, i just kind of went off into my own head and attempted to do things that i liked. played some fate/stay night, which by the way, i am genuinely glad to have it officially in english after all this time:
once will and kyle went to bed, i played zzz for a bit. tried to make myself happy by eating a passionfruit lmao:
it did not work, but man are passionfruit so fucking tasty. but yeah, so tuesday was a wash, and i did Not like how bad i was feeling.
wednesday: somehow, Worse. kyle and i had a bit of an awkward phone call, but we started to come to a better understanding again, which was good. by the end of the day, despite how awful i was feeling, we were at least in a better place somewhat, so good place to start. anyways, it was the day of my final research visit, but that wasn't until 5pm, so i mostly puttered around again. nothing really felt like it was hitting me. just extreme and excessive dissociation. i've never felt that disengaged in my entire life, actually. even at my very worst i was still actively engaged in the things that kept me sane. so it was a really uncomfortable feeling. i did not like it.
my other persona limitedrun package came in, though:
why do i buy graphic shirts i will not wear outside of my house? because i love the idea of them even if my desire to be fashionable at all times does Not allow for it lmao.
anyways, research visit number 3. it was mostly the same as my first one, of doing behavioral tests, answering questionnaires about how i was feeling (terrible), and then another 2 hour MRI. this MRI was fucking KILLER though, because the fucking machine kept. breaking. so i would just be sitting there waiting for the thing to start in between rounds. awful! i've never felt claustrophobic in an MRI before, but oh my GOD was i feeling it. plus it was late, i didn't get home until about 10pm. which, like, yeah i stay up until 4am, but that doesn't mean i like being outside of my HOUSE until 10pm. unless it's with friends.
but yeah, came home, kyle was feeling a touch better about things, i was dead, and that was wednesday lol.
thursday: i was still very much Not With It, but at least able to be a touch more alive. i have actually zero recollection of what i did most of the day though. played zzz? cleaned maybe? i don't know lol. edited, maybe. oh, thursday is when i finally finished my code lyoko rewatch, which was really fun. i don't think as a kid i watched it all the way through as it aired, so it was nice to see the full conclusion. honestly? it holds up really fucking well. like, way better than it has any right to.
anyways, jason night. we went over to his place since they're moving soon, so we wanna enjoy the time at his place to send off the apartment lol. it might suck a little, but we really like hanging out over there, so i'm a bit sad they're moving. but they're not moving very far, and they say their new apartment is awesome, so that's good. plus it's bigger, so the four of them will have more space for stuff. which is good bc jason's room is a fucking shoebox lmao.
we ordered pizza (again), and i helped jason install some really complicated elden ring mods and then we all watched demon slayer. almost finished with season 1! i'm enjoying it. it was all in all i really chill night, and while i was not Good, i was not quite as miserable as the previous two days, so there's that at least.
friday: first, my interview. it was early in the morning again, so i was a bit worried i wouldn't be fully with it, but i killed it lol. in fact i did so well she said she would be sending me a job offer after she spoke to my references. so yes!!! i am FINALLY employed again!!!! i'm actually a little sad about it, but i am sure i will change my tune once i have an income again and work from home full time doing work i'm good at and like lol. she sent me an offer that very afternoon, which is like, i think the fastest i have ever experienced interview to job LOL. someone asked me if i was concerned about that but no not really. it's work i have a lot of experience in and my references from the medical clinic i used to work at all still absolutely love me. i know i'm a good employee, and they'd been looking for almost a month for someone. so yeah that was good way to start the day lol.
i was feeling pretty productive and a little more like a person, so i ended up doing a ton of chores. the groceries came in, so i put those away obvs, but i also went and got quarters for laundry, cleaned the house up, put some stuff up on mercari that sold nearly instantly lol so then i went to the post office to drop those off, and by the end of the afternoon i was pretty wiped. kyle asked if i wanted to go over to will's with him and jason, but i was fucking exhausted in so many ways so i said no and stayed home instead. which was definitely the better choice. since i finished my code lyoko rewatch, i started the next thing i promised leo i would rewatch which is durarara!!. i have only ever seen season 2 as it was airing, and kyle and i both were SO fucking confused at all times trying to piece that shit together week by week. leo rewatched it with his friend recently and said it made way more sense when able to watch it in bigger chunks at a time, so we're both curious to see if that's how i'll end up feeling about it. this is all to say i watched 11 episodes of season 1 in one sitting while i was editing friday evening lmfao.
it was also really nice out, so while i was doing laundry, i sat on the tiny porch to continue case file compendium 2:
kyle ended up getting home a bit late, which sucked a bit for him since he had to go meet and greet some clients saturday morning, but oh well lol. i was just glad he was in a good mood and had a good time with the lads. he was also, of course, very excited about my job. i did in fact receive the offer letter that evening haha. my dad was also very excited for me.
my dad's health is... hm. i'm very concerned still. he goes in for testing on tuesday, to make sure he's not bleeding internally, and if it all checks out they'll double dose the blood thinners and go back to trying to work out the clot, but i really really hope he'll go to b&w's instead of mount auburn this time around.......... i personally love mount auburn but they are NOT taking his issue seriously enough............
anyways. this was by far the best day of the week thus far lol.
saturday: kyle woke up early to head out for his client meet and greets, and i had an odd morning. i was out of adhd meds because i hadn't gone to cvs to grab them yet (oops) and i did not realize how poorly i focus without them. i sat in bed doing nothing much of anything for almost 2 hours before i finally got up to go play zzz. bad!!
zzz, however, was NOT bad lol. it was in fact very good. i'm almost through the new story content that just dropped, and i am more and more impressed with the game every time i play it. it is just SO good. i am no longer mad about how good it is, i am just in awe hoyo somehow managed to knock it out of the park AGAIN lmao.
kyle came home around 11:30, and decided it was shroom time. he does small doses from time to time for ptsd reasons. he spent the first while talking to friends on discord and just enjoying being fairly high LOL but after a bit the emotional bit hit and we had a really, REALLY long conversation. this was a very good thing, honestly. it was probably the most open we'd been with each other in a long time and we both came to a much clearer understanding of things. i think, genuinely, things are going in the right direction on that front and we'll have less problems going forward after that convo. so that was good. he was also genuinely remorseful for some of the stuff that had happened recently, which i wasn't really expecting - mostly because it hadn't even occurred to me that it was something for him to apologize over - so that was unexpected but it definitely helped things i think. we're much more on the same page than we were previously, which is really all i've been wanting since my trauma therapy began and i started going a bit haywire mentally. it was also EXHAUSTING lol we talked for maybe 4 hours? ish? tiring! we ordered qdoba somewhere in there too bc we were too tired to cook lol which was nice. it's been a hot minute since we've ordered food just the two of us without friends to split the cost with bc, uh, no job lmao. but yeah it was good.
other than that... i finally managed to finish my SPOD zine fic and submit that, so that's good. idk why i was having such a block with it. it was very easy to write once i was doing it lmao. i also got some editing done, which is good. that needed to happen lol. i went to bed before 2 since i worked at my part time place today, so that's. good i guess LOL except it took me a full 2 hours to fall asleep so it was all for naught anyway. oops! but yeah, i'm still not 100% better mentally, but i was definitely doing BETTER by the end of the night, so, good!
sunday: had to take a shower before work which if you know me you know i hate, i like morning showers but i do not like 6am showers lmfao. as i mentioned it was a work day at my part time place, which the phones?? are still broken at LOLLLL. this new management company is out the fucking door i swear. good fucking riddance. ANYWAY, it was a quiet day.
i spent the morning editing, which was brutal because the theme of this fucking mep is SPONGEBOB STYLE. so like. making it look like they're in a spongebob episode. i want to die. why are we doing this in seriousness? we are all just alice's little minions. cruelty, i say. anyway. my dad did come by to bring me lunch but he was... not doing so hot. i was a bit irked he pushed himself. i know it had been a hot minute since we saw each other in person, but i would've been happy to go visit with kyle or something. i wish he hadn't done that, it's a bit of a hike from his place to my work. i made him leave very early so he could go nap, which seemed to help because he called me about an hour ago and he sounded about a thousand times better, thankfully.
other than that... my e key finally went kaputski after almost 5 years of abuse. rip e key, you'll be missed. thankfully it was only the keycap and not the underlying mechanism on my laptop itself, so i for now have just put the right ctrl keycap on the e until my replacement cap comes in lol. my laptop looks a bit funky.
i unfortunately did make the mistake of having that starbucks energy drink on an empty stomach and have been feeling very sick since LOL. kyle was very kind and made me dinner when i got home and i discovered eggs after a month still have the potential to be edible. that being said my dinner was extremely aesthetic:
but yeah, i plan to just finish up some writing, play some video games, and do some editing as i enjoy my last week of being unemployed this coming week. crazy that i will finally have a full time remote position and it's my favorite type of work after all these months lmfao. i lost my job in APRIL.... i wasn't even unemployed this long in 2020........ anyways. yeah. a better week despite the REALLY rough start!
last week's goals? i survived! great success
hopes for next week:
monday: monday starts off early as all hell by heading into the research institute to do my very long 10.5 hour research visit... despite the issues kyle and i had been having sunday, he still insisted on driving me into the institute, cancelling his morning walks, and staying until after the first treatment was done for moral support and also just so he could understand what the fuck they were doing to his wife lol. it was a weird day, so i'll take it from the top.
basically, it was a TMS study. i think i mentioned, but they were specifically testing the usage of TMS for suicidal ideation in people with borderline personality disorder. so it was a different area of the brain from the standard depression and anxiety/OCD TMS treatments. they also wanted to test if they could do it basically in one long day rather than having patients come in every single weekday for weeks on end. so first thing they did was make the brain map, which involved seeing the lowest possible pulse point to trigger a motor reaction in my hand. all very interesting. i apparently needed quite a lot for my size? which i guess shouldn't surprise me lol that would be what happens to me. anyways, then it was time for the first treatment, which was a bizarre experience. i'd never even heard of TMS until this research study, so i had no idea how it worked, but they basically had to like... calibrate? the map of your brain? to the machine? before each treatment. idk how to describe it. it involved a lot of poking my skull with a metal rod and then attaching giant things to my skull lol. the treatments themselves were on a 9 minute and 47 second pattern, and my jaw would twitch with every single pulse which was not very comfortable, but over the course of the day that at least got a little better... but yeah, the treatment overall freaked kyle out for a bit so he kept asking a million questions, but by the end of the first one he was feeling more comfortable. the research team led me to my private rest room for the day, kyle got me some food from the vending machines, and then once i assured him i would be okay he took off and i began my full day of tetsting.
because i was there all day doing so many sessions, i was just told to keep the connector things on me all day, resulting in me walking around looking like this for the entirety of the visit:
god, i need a haircut. anyways.
the way it was structured was that i would get around 45 minutes of private rest, go in for my treatment, rinse and repeat until 10 sessions had been accomplished. i brought my switch, case file compendium 1 and 2, as well as my phone obviously, so i mostly spent the rest sessions reading either fic, my books, or fate/stay night. i had a very mediocre lunch from the cafeteria, as they had like... 2 vegetarian options and one of those was just roasted vegetables LMAO. i finished case file 1, started case file 2 despite not really knowing how to feel about it. the treatments were fine, honestly, and went by much faster than i expected. i kept microsleeping though because i never sleep more than 4 hours these days, so that was kind of unpleasant, but whatever. then i headed on home.
when i got home exhaustion really hit, and i had a nasty fucking headache from the constant jaw movement (thanks, TMJ), and also just the. pulsing all day. that shit is louder than i thought it would be for a magnet moving your brain waves around. i basically stayed up and just did about nothing the rest of the evening. kyle took care of me, though, which was nice, despite things still being fairly awkward between us. honestly my brain was fairly mushy after all that, though, so i could not tell you what else i did that evening after i got home at around 8pm.
tuesday: and here's where things went bad lmao. the day started off pretty routine despite the headache and jaw pain still being an issue. pretty early that morning i had a phone interview with a speech therapy practice for a full-time remote PCC/OM position, which is basically the dream, so i was glad that despite my exhaustion i managed to impress her and set up a real interview for friday.
i was very brain-fried all day after that, so spent the morning kind of just puttering around. i was so mushy i don't really remember much. i had a psych appointment at 1:30, she increased my adhd med dosage, and we'll check in again next week to see if i need to go further, which she is expecting to. went back home and just started progressively feeling worse and worse. like i was exhausted and foggy, but at that point i was getting. like. disengaged? i was having trouble finding the will to do anything, or joy in literally anything. like i'm the kind of person who even when depressed loves video games or w/e, but i had just. no desire to do anything. i just sat and stared at a wall for an entire fucking hour it was bad.
like, i couldn't even appreciate fully that my p3p limitedrun box finally came in:
which, by the way, the shirt is the most comfortable pajama shirt i own now lol. but i couldn't even be excited about it!!!
kyle ended up letting me know will was coming over and staying the night, and i tried hard to be like, alive for that interaction. we got pizza and sat on the porch and ate and all i could think about was how fucking empty i felt. it was really bad. i was actually starting to scare myself. kyle & my friends were of the belief that it was a TMS dip, meaning i had gotten the actual treatment and not the placebo, but i had no idea what to think. probably because thinking was too much effort. it was a really, really bad night. kyle, despite being really distant, actually asked in complete seriousness if i was going to be safe home alone the next day.
after pizza, i just kind of went off into my own head and attempted to do things that i liked. played some fate/stay night, which by the way, i am genuinely glad to have it officially in english after all this time:
once will and kyle went to bed, i played zzz for a bit. tried to make myself happy by eating a passionfruit lmao:
it did not work, but man are passionfruit so fucking tasty. but yeah, so tuesday was a wash, and i did Not like how bad i was feeling.
wednesday: somehow, Worse. kyle and i had a bit of an awkward phone call, but we started to come to a better understanding again, which was good. by the end of the day, despite how awful i was feeling, we were at least in a better place somewhat, so good place to start. anyways, it was the day of my final research visit, but that wasn't until 5pm, so i mostly puttered around again. nothing really felt like it was hitting me. just extreme and excessive dissociation. i've never felt that disengaged in my entire life, actually. even at my very worst i was still actively engaged in the things that kept me sane. so it was a really uncomfortable feeling. i did not like it.
my other persona limitedrun package came in, though:
why do i buy graphic shirts i will not wear outside of my house? because i love the idea of them even if my desire to be fashionable at all times does Not allow for it lmao.
anyways, research visit number 3. it was mostly the same as my first one, of doing behavioral tests, answering questionnaires about how i was feeling (terrible), and then another 2 hour MRI. this MRI was fucking KILLER though, because the fucking machine kept. breaking. so i would just be sitting there waiting for the thing to start in between rounds. awful! i've never felt claustrophobic in an MRI before, but oh my GOD was i feeling it. plus it was late, i didn't get home until about 10pm. which, like, yeah i stay up until 4am, but that doesn't mean i like being outside of my HOUSE until 10pm. unless it's with friends.
but yeah, came home, kyle was feeling a touch better about things, i was dead, and that was wednesday lol.
thursday: i was still very much Not With It, but at least able to be a touch more alive. i have actually zero recollection of what i did most of the day though. played zzz? cleaned maybe? i don't know lol. edited, maybe. oh, thursday is when i finally finished my code lyoko rewatch, which was really fun. i don't think as a kid i watched it all the way through as it aired, so it was nice to see the full conclusion. honestly? it holds up really fucking well. like, way better than it has any right to.
anyways, jason night. we went over to his place since they're moving soon, so we wanna enjoy the time at his place to send off the apartment lol. it might suck a little, but we really like hanging out over there, so i'm a bit sad they're moving. but they're not moving very far, and they say their new apartment is awesome, so that's good. plus it's bigger, so the four of them will have more space for stuff. which is good bc jason's room is a fucking shoebox lmao.
we ordered pizza (again), and i helped jason install some really complicated elden ring mods and then we all watched demon slayer. almost finished with season 1! i'm enjoying it. it was all in all i really chill night, and while i was not Good, i was not quite as miserable as the previous two days, so there's that at least.
friday: first, my interview. it was early in the morning again, so i was a bit worried i wouldn't be fully with it, but i killed it lol. in fact i did so well she said she would be sending me a job offer after she spoke to my references. so yes!!! i am FINALLY employed again!!!! i'm actually a little sad about it, but i am sure i will change my tune once i have an income again and work from home full time doing work i'm good at and like lol. she sent me an offer that very afternoon, which is like, i think the fastest i have ever experienced interview to job LOL. someone asked me if i was concerned about that but no not really. it's work i have a lot of experience in and my references from the medical clinic i used to work at all still absolutely love me. i know i'm a good employee, and they'd been looking for almost a month for someone. so yeah that was good way to start the day lol.
i was feeling pretty productive and a little more like a person, so i ended up doing a ton of chores. the groceries came in, so i put those away obvs, but i also went and got quarters for laundry, cleaned the house up, put some stuff up on mercari that sold nearly instantly lol so then i went to the post office to drop those off, and by the end of the afternoon i was pretty wiped. kyle asked if i wanted to go over to will's with him and jason, but i was fucking exhausted in so many ways so i said no and stayed home instead. which was definitely the better choice. since i finished my code lyoko rewatch, i started the next thing i promised leo i would rewatch which is durarara!!. i have only ever seen season 2 as it was airing, and kyle and i both were SO fucking confused at all times trying to piece that shit together week by week. leo rewatched it with his friend recently and said it made way more sense when able to watch it in bigger chunks at a time, so we're both curious to see if that's how i'll end up feeling about it. this is all to say i watched 11 episodes of season 1 in one sitting while i was editing friday evening lmfao.
it was also really nice out, so while i was doing laundry, i sat on the tiny porch to continue case file compendium 2:
kyle ended up getting home a bit late, which sucked a bit for him since he had to go meet and greet some clients saturday morning, but oh well lol. i was just glad he was in a good mood and had a good time with the lads. he was also, of course, very excited about my job. i did in fact receive the offer letter that evening haha. my dad was also very excited for me.
my dad's health is... hm. i'm very concerned still. he goes in for testing on tuesday, to make sure he's not bleeding internally, and if it all checks out they'll double dose the blood thinners and go back to trying to work out the clot, but i really really hope he'll go to b&w's instead of mount auburn this time around.......... i personally love mount auburn but they are NOT taking his issue seriously enough............
anyways. this was by far the best day of the week thus far lol.
saturday: kyle woke up early to head out for his client meet and greets, and i had an odd morning. i was out of adhd meds because i hadn't gone to cvs to grab them yet (oops) and i did not realize how poorly i focus without them. i sat in bed doing nothing much of anything for almost 2 hours before i finally got up to go play zzz. bad!!
zzz, however, was NOT bad lol. it was in fact very good. i'm almost through the new story content that just dropped, and i am more and more impressed with the game every time i play it. it is just SO good. i am no longer mad about how good it is, i am just in awe hoyo somehow managed to knock it out of the park AGAIN lmao.
kyle came home around 11:30, and decided it was shroom time. he does small doses from time to time for ptsd reasons. he spent the first while talking to friends on discord and just enjoying being fairly high LOL but after a bit the emotional bit hit and we had a really, REALLY long conversation. this was a very good thing, honestly. it was probably the most open we'd been with each other in a long time and we both came to a much clearer understanding of things. i think, genuinely, things are going in the right direction on that front and we'll have less problems going forward after that convo. so that was good. he was also genuinely remorseful for some of the stuff that had happened recently, which i wasn't really expecting - mostly because it hadn't even occurred to me that it was something for him to apologize over - so that was unexpected but it definitely helped things i think. we're much more on the same page than we were previously, which is really all i've been wanting since my trauma therapy began and i started going a bit haywire mentally. it was also EXHAUSTING lol we talked for maybe 4 hours? ish? tiring! we ordered qdoba somewhere in there too bc we were too tired to cook lol which was nice. it's been a hot minute since we've ordered food just the two of us without friends to split the cost with bc, uh, no job lmao. but yeah it was good.
other than that... i finally managed to finish my SPOD zine fic and submit that, so that's good. idk why i was having such a block with it. it was very easy to write once i was doing it lmao. i also got some editing done, which is good. that needed to happen lol. i went to bed before 2 since i worked at my part time place today, so that's. good i guess LOL except it took me a full 2 hours to fall asleep so it was all for naught anyway. oops! but yeah, i'm still not 100% better mentally, but i was definitely doing BETTER by the end of the night, so, good!
sunday: had to take a shower before work which if you know me you know i hate, i like morning showers but i do not like 6am showers lmfao. as i mentioned it was a work day at my part time place, which the phones?? are still broken at LOLLLL. this new management company is out the fucking door i swear. good fucking riddance. ANYWAY, it was a quiet day.
i spent the morning editing, which was brutal because the theme of this fucking mep is SPONGEBOB STYLE. so like. making it look like they're in a spongebob episode. i want to die. why are we doing this in seriousness? we are all just alice's little minions. cruelty, i say. anyway. my dad did come by to bring me lunch but he was... not doing so hot. i was a bit irked he pushed himself. i know it had been a hot minute since we saw each other in person, but i would've been happy to go visit with kyle or something. i wish he hadn't done that, it's a bit of a hike from his place to my work. i made him leave very early so he could go nap, which seemed to help because he called me about an hour ago and he sounded about a thousand times better, thankfully.
other than that... my e key finally went kaputski after almost 5 years of abuse. rip e key, you'll be missed. thankfully it was only the keycap and not the underlying mechanism on my laptop itself, so i for now have just put the right ctrl keycap on the e until my replacement cap comes in lol. my laptop looks a bit funky.
i unfortunately did make the mistake of having that starbucks energy drink on an empty stomach and have been feeling very sick since LOL. kyle was very kind and made me dinner when i got home and i discovered eggs after a month still have the potential to be edible. that being said my dinner was extremely aesthetic:
but yeah, i plan to just finish up some writing, play some video games, and do some editing as i enjoy my last week of being unemployed this coming week. crazy that i will finally have a full time remote position and it's my favorite type of work after all these months lmfao. i lost my job in APRIL.... i wasn't even unemployed this long in 2020........ anyways. yeah. a better week despite the REALLY rough start!
last week's goals? i survived! great success
hopes for next week:
- genshin! summer! event!!!!
- finish up my extremely cursed personal edit
- finish the fate route of my fsn replay on switch (still feels so good to say this lmfao)
no subject
Date: 2024-08-19 08:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-19 01:54 pm (UTC)And yeah, it was a lot, but at least it was paid research haha. It would be nice to see a good conclusion from the study.