weekly 8/25/2024
Aug. 26th, 2024 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trainerlyra didn't have time yesterday to do my journal so here it is now, oops
monday: the dawn of my last week of freedom lol. i mean, listen, i'm happy to be getting paid again, really, but also i kinda grew fond of being able to do fuck-all with my time. oh well. at least i can exchange money for goods and services (anime merch and expensive clothes). anyways, monday we start the week with two exciting packages! first up is from one of my best friends leo, this was mostly the hoard of tgcf merch he'd been stockpiling for me LOL. we tend to buy things together and just wait until the pile is Huge and then ship to each other its pretty silly. but please look at my exciting gift:
beefleafs and hualians that i've preordered with leo through the year, and leo used to be super obsessed with indie perfume and he's gotten ME hooked on it so he sent me this one from BPAL, which all the proceeds went to the ACLU lol. it smells like peaches which is delightful, i'm a fan. i ALSO received a thing i bought:
this neat little thing! i know there are a ton of different x tarot sets, since like persona there's a heavy emphasis on the major arcana in relation to the characters, but i'd never come across this one before. it looks like it was a chinese exclusive, maybe shipped with some kind of box set??? unsure, but if anyone can translate the little booklet, i'm very curious:
they sure made some interesting choices, though. and this is actually a complete tarot deck! not just the major arcana! i was PSYCHED to see that. not that i don't have a million decks already and have another on the way currently... i just really like tarot lol. other monday things... mostly chores, honestly? lots of chores lol. i dropped off some mercari packages at the post office, i did some laundry, mailed our state voting ballots, put on the new english dub season of pokemon horizons while folding laundry, the usual. played some zzz of course. oh! and i made a really good dinner of those sweet potatoes and chickpea tomato sauce thing:
it was delicious. kyle loved it this time around so i'll be making it again sometime soon lol.
tuesday: firstly, i decided to go ahead and fix up my beefleaf + joongdok ita bags:
i will say i am more of an ita bag purist - these my only bags that are entirely fanmerch. most of my bags are 100% official and done more traditional ita bag style lol. i actually really dislike pin-based ita bags. they just do not have the same vibe. but i love beefleaf and it's not that many pins so i take it. plus, cute little shark bag..... it's perfect for beefleaf...... and my joongdok bag is like 20% spod and/or yoohankim but that's fine LOL that's just how canon goes anyway. orv truly has some talented fanartists, i have a ton of orv art up around my desk and it makes me emotional sometimes still even tho i see it every single day lol.
other things for tuesday... editing, had to edit a very cursed mep part. the song is beloved (heat waves by glass animals) but the theme is. fucking. spongebob themed lmfao. so that was a royal pain. zzz, obviously. read more of case file compendium part 2, definitely started liking it a bit more at this point:
the art is very pretty for this series! i really like the artist seven seas went with.
you may notice i am not talking about much, and that's bc the mental illness started setting in Very Strong. i was just not all there mentally lol. this unfortunately came to a head wednesday which since nothing else really happened on tuesday might as well dive into...sigh
wednesday: day stared off well! kyle left early and did that cute thing he did where he sets up my stuffed animals in various comfy places around the house:
so i mostly puttered around in the morning relaxing and playing zzz - the new event is SO FUN, i was having a blast with it. i genuinely really love zzz lol. kyle texted me that morning about the possibility of hanging out with jorie and quinn and said it was okay if i wanted to just relax but to let him know at noon-ish about what i was feeling bc he wanted me to join if i were up for it. this conversation when it happened went rather poorly lol. i am REALLY bad at answering "what are you up for" "what do you want to do" etc when it's a group activity. i understand he does it so i can tell him where my current limits are, but i really have a hard time trying to grapple with anxiety around those sorts of questions, if that makes any sense. anyways, this got him slightly annoyed bc i kept just going "idk", then i acted poorly bc i handle irritation about as well as a fish handles being out of water, and then our second phone call hours later went JUST as poorly lol bc i was already on the defense. the third one after he was coming back home from friends went... worse.... i ended up having a total mental breakdown once he got home and it. was just really rough orz. poor kyle was so worried at one point i stepped outside to cool off after awhile of having my breakdown and he had to sit by the door to make sure i was safe and just. not a great time! so that REALLY sucked! and that was basically my entire noon to when i finally fell asleep at like 3!
thursday: and i couldn't even see jason thursday bc his roommates got COVID so i had nothing to look forward to lol. the morning was.... rough........but i ended up calling kyle later that afternoon and we had a pretty good talk about my current. abilities to handle myself lmao. i think it helped, though, bc since then things have been fine. mostly i just feel bad, i've been so terribly unstable this year i can't really blame him for being so exhausted. i put so much weight on him to carry. i know i need to get myself together lmao. it's just. so much to work through! it's exhausting.
after our conversation i bought myself starbucks bc i realized i hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours.......... and also bc the new fall menu dropped absurdly early lol. the apple croissant and the pumpkin cream cheese muffin are among two of my FAVORITE starbucks items ever so i was happy to start my eating again off with the apple croissant.... anyway i also tried the salted caramel cooie matcha drink? it was wicked good. wtf. i'm so angry about how much i liked it lol. i will def be getting that....again..........
in good news, otw's onboarding finally started, so i am officially now part of the volunteer & recruiting committee!! exciting. i began my onboarding after calming down some, i'm very glad to be there and be apart of the otw, considering how many years i've been using ao3 lol. so that was good!
since there was no jason, i spent the evening reading/playing fate/watching drrr! while editing etc. i got some writing in, too, but not the writing thing i NEEDED to be doing but you win some you lose some.............. this is also the night leo left for japan to go to the clamp exhibition and i am really so happy for him even if i wish it were me going LOL but next year!!! i will make it to japan next year for real this time now that i have a passport and managed to afford a trip to germany!!!
friday: psych appointment was at 2pm, so i got my next upgrade of the adhd magic brain drugs that let me initiate tasks lmao. more zzz as usual, seriously the golden week event is fucking killer. i love the hollow, i love the different types of mini games, and the story has been fun. i just really genuinely like this cast a lot lol. it's been a blast! this was also very much a chore day, more pokemon horizons while doing laundry - i REALLY love horizons, i'm shocked by how much i love it. it's so FUN. my body began revolting against me and i had to stop taking my birth control to actually have a period for the first time in like idk 6 months or w/e lmao, which sucks but what can you do.
there was a bbq at one of kyle's friends' houses that evening. technically i know them too, we went to school together and graduated together, but i was not friends with either of them and one of them actively talked shit about me for a bit when i first started at my other school lol, so i never really was fond of her. i hear she's REALLY nice now and the guy she started dating around the time i started dating kyle really mellowed her out and she's since apologized (to kyle at my request) about the stupid shit she said/did when we were like 14 so i don't hold any grudges or anything lol we're just very different people! but kyle (and will) are very close with her husband (who is the boyfriend mentioned) so kyle checked if i wanted to go but was very NOT pressed about it so i stayed home. i did remember to make a meal! .... because i had only eaten starbucks since wednesday............. sigh.
i'm trying to think of what else i did but i really just hung out, played zzz, did some chores, cried about our dishwasher breaking AGAIN, and did some more of my ao3 onboarding. then kyle came home and we hung out for a bit before he went to bed and i... followed him eventually at like 4am lmao
saturday: a pretty relaxing day, all things considered! mostly consisted of hanging out, playing games, and more pokemon horizons while cleaning lol. i also finally, FINALLY got my haircut after putting it off for so long... i checked and my last haircut was fuckin. december. jesus. anyways it came out the way i wanted which is all that matters:
yes, that is a megumi fushiguro shirt, i love him. i CAN'T BELIEVE JJK IS ENDING IN A FEW CHAPTERS. WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH THAT!!! jk i know gege akutami has been having some health issues and i hope he finds the time to recover without having to give up doing what he loves. kudos to him for making the most popular shonen since the big 3 were at their peaks. but yeah frankly saturday was boring as hell. kyle was tired, i mostly just hung out and he mostly worked on music, enjoyed each other's company, just a nice boring day which is really what i needed after earlier in the week.
i also cooked a banger dinner saturday night:
got some editing & writing in, and made some progress on fate. i wanted to finish the fate route this week, but with the whole lost two days to mental illness, that just wasn't happening lol. but that's okay. my pesto gnocchi came out perfectly.
sunday: dawn of the final day, as they say. 24 hours remain! it was... an interesting day, for sure. took my first dose of new brain pills. kyle went out early to go skateboarding with his friend who is visiting from germany. this guy lived next to kyle growing up and actually gave him his first skateboard - he's a bit older than us, and kyle's always really liked him and so i was super happy that he was visiting and they got to hang out again for the next few weeks.
unfortunately it did not go as planned OTL kyle, of course because we are cursed i stg, fell and super damaged his wrist bad enough he was concerned it was broken, and he also??? somehow got a fucking PARKING TICKET??? ON A SUNDAY???? who in cambridge is checking meters on a sunday he was there for an hour tops. so he came home very upset understandably! but i was like okay crisis control mode. it's so funny, when i am the one having issues, i cannot function. when someone ELSE is having a crisis, i am perfectly in control and fine. it's dumb lol. anyways i went to cvs and got him a brace, made sure he was icing it properly, and told will to come over and keep him company because he'd need it lol.
idk what was wrong with me, though, maybe the meds? because i was wicked aggravated once will got there. i think it was the meds bc it was immediately after taking my wellbutrin that i felt like i was going to rip will's head off. so i just ended up going into the bedroom and reading for awhile. kyle asked me what was up and i let him know that i think it was the meds and that i just needed some space, which he handled really well considering the kind of day he was having lol. he corralled will out of the house for a walk, and gave me free roam of the house for awhile. this was good and helped i think. i finished up case file compendium volume 2, which i ended up REALLY enjoying by the latter half of the book. not my favorite danmei that's been licensed, but their insanity was a good read. i really look forward to finding out what the fuck happens next lol. i also ended up getting a chance to finish a new seisub mmv, which i am still pretty happy with. this song is really genuinely SO perfect for them. even the verse before this one:
hopes for next week:
monday: the dawn of my last week of freedom lol. i mean, listen, i'm happy to be getting paid again, really, but also i kinda grew fond of being able to do fuck-all with my time. oh well. at least i can exchange money for goods and services (anime merch and expensive clothes). anyways, monday we start the week with two exciting packages! first up is from one of my best friends leo, this was mostly the hoard of tgcf merch he'd been stockpiling for me LOL. we tend to buy things together and just wait until the pile is Huge and then ship to each other its pretty silly. but please look at my exciting gift:
beefleafs and hualians that i've preordered with leo through the year, and leo used to be super obsessed with indie perfume and he's gotten ME hooked on it so he sent me this one from BPAL, which all the proceeds went to the ACLU lol. it smells like peaches which is delightful, i'm a fan. i ALSO received a thing i bought:
this neat little thing! i know there are a ton of different x tarot sets, since like persona there's a heavy emphasis on the major arcana in relation to the characters, but i'd never come across this one before. it looks like it was a chinese exclusive, maybe shipped with some kind of box set??? unsure, but if anyone can translate the little booklet, i'm very curious:
they sure made some interesting choices, though. and this is actually a complete tarot deck! not just the major arcana! i was PSYCHED to see that. not that i don't have a million decks already and have another on the way currently... i just really like tarot lol. other monday things... mostly chores, honestly? lots of chores lol. i dropped off some mercari packages at the post office, i did some laundry, mailed our state voting ballots, put on the new english dub season of pokemon horizons while folding laundry, the usual. played some zzz of course. oh! and i made a really good dinner of those sweet potatoes and chickpea tomato sauce thing:
it was delicious. kyle loved it this time around so i'll be making it again sometime soon lol.
tuesday: firstly, i decided to go ahead and fix up my beefleaf + joongdok ita bags:
i will say i am more of an ita bag purist - these my only bags that are entirely fanmerch. most of my bags are 100% official and done more traditional ita bag style lol. i actually really dislike pin-based ita bags. they just do not have the same vibe. but i love beefleaf and it's not that many pins so i take it. plus, cute little shark bag..... it's perfect for beefleaf...... and my joongdok bag is like 20% spod and/or yoohankim but that's fine LOL that's just how canon goes anyway. orv truly has some talented fanartists, i have a ton of orv art up around my desk and it makes me emotional sometimes still even tho i see it every single day lol.
other things for tuesday... editing, had to edit a very cursed mep part. the song is beloved (heat waves by glass animals) but the theme is. fucking. spongebob themed lmfao. so that was a royal pain. zzz, obviously. read more of case file compendium part 2, definitely started liking it a bit more at this point:
the art is very pretty for this series! i really like the artist seven seas went with.
you may notice i am not talking about much, and that's bc the mental illness started setting in Very Strong. i was just not all there mentally lol. this unfortunately came to a head wednesday which since nothing else really happened on tuesday might as well dive into...sigh
wednesday: day stared off well! kyle left early and did that cute thing he did where he sets up my stuffed animals in various comfy places around the house:
so i mostly puttered around in the morning relaxing and playing zzz - the new event is SO FUN, i was having a blast with it. i genuinely really love zzz lol. kyle texted me that morning about the possibility of hanging out with jorie and quinn and said it was okay if i wanted to just relax but to let him know at noon-ish about what i was feeling bc he wanted me to join if i were up for it. this conversation when it happened went rather poorly lol. i am REALLY bad at answering "what are you up for" "what do you want to do" etc when it's a group activity. i understand he does it so i can tell him where my current limits are, but i really have a hard time trying to grapple with anxiety around those sorts of questions, if that makes any sense. anyways, this got him slightly annoyed bc i kept just going "idk", then i acted poorly bc i handle irritation about as well as a fish handles being out of water, and then our second phone call hours later went JUST as poorly lol bc i was already on the defense. the third one after he was coming back home from friends went... worse.... i ended up having a total mental breakdown once he got home and it. was just really rough orz. poor kyle was so worried at one point i stepped outside to cool off after awhile of having my breakdown and he had to sit by the door to make sure i was safe and just. not a great time! so that REALLY sucked! and that was basically my entire noon to when i finally fell asleep at like 3!
thursday: and i couldn't even see jason thursday bc his roommates got COVID so i had nothing to look forward to lol. the morning was.... rough........but i ended up calling kyle later that afternoon and we had a pretty good talk about my current. abilities to handle myself lmao. i think it helped, though, bc since then things have been fine. mostly i just feel bad, i've been so terribly unstable this year i can't really blame him for being so exhausted. i put so much weight on him to carry. i know i need to get myself together lmao. it's just. so much to work through! it's exhausting.
after our conversation i bought myself starbucks bc i realized i hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours.......... and also bc the new fall menu dropped absurdly early lol. the apple croissant and the pumpkin cream cheese muffin are among two of my FAVORITE starbucks items ever so i was happy to start my eating again off with the apple croissant.... anyway i also tried the salted caramel cooie matcha drink? it was wicked good. wtf. i'm so angry about how much i liked it lol. i will def be getting that....again..........
in good news, otw's onboarding finally started, so i am officially now part of the volunteer & recruiting committee!! exciting. i began my onboarding after calming down some, i'm very glad to be there and be apart of the otw, considering how many years i've been using ao3 lol. so that was good!
since there was no jason, i spent the evening reading/playing fate/watching drrr! while editing etc. i got some writing in, too, but not the writing thing i NEEDED to be doing but you win some you lose some.............. this is also the night leo left for japan to go to the clamp exhibition and i am really so happy for him even if i wish it were me going LOL but next year!!! i will make it to japan next year for real this time now that i have a passport and managed to afford a trip to germany!!!
friday: psych appointment was at 2pm, so i got my next upgrade of the adhd magic brain drugs that let me initiate tasks lmao. more zzz as usual, seriously the golden week event is fucking killer. i love the hollow, i love the different types of mini games, and the story has been fun. i just really genuinely like this cast a lot lol. it's been a blast! this was also very much a chore day, more pokemon horizons while doing laundry - i REALLY love horizons, i'm shocked by how much i love it. it's so FUN. my body began revolting against me and i had to stop taking my birth control to actually have a period for the first time in like idk 6 months or w/e lmao, which sucks but what can you do.
there was a bbq at one of kyle's friends' houses that evening. technically i know them too, we went to school together and graduated together, but i was not friends with either of them and one of them actively talked shit about me for a bit when i first started at my other school lol, so i never really was fond of her. i hear she's REALLY nice now and the guy she started dating around the time i started dating kyle really mellowed her out and she's since apologized (to kyle at my request) about the stupid shit she said/did when we were like 14 so i don't hold any grudges or anything lol we're just very different people! but kyle (and will) are very close with her husband (who is the boyfriend mentioned) so kyle checked if i wanted to go but was very NOT pressed about it so i stayed home. i did remember to make a meal! .... because i had only eaten starbucks since wednesday............. sigh.
i'm trying to think of what else i did but i really just hung out, played zzz, did some chores, cried about our dishwasher breaking AGAIN, and did some more of my ao3 onboarding. then kyle came home and we hung out for a bit before he went to bed and i... followed him eventually at like 4am lmao
saturday: a pretty relaxing day, all things considered! mostly consisted of hanging out, playing games, and more pokemon horizons while cleaning lol. i also finally, FINALLY got my haircut after putting it off for so long... i checked and my last haircut was fuckin. december. jesus. anyways it came out the way i wanted which is all that matters:
yes, that is a megumi fushiguro shirt, i love him. i CAN'T BELIEVE JJK IS ENDING IN A FEW CHAPTERS. WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH THAT!!! jk i know gege akutami has been having some health issues and i hope he finds the time to recover without having to give up doing what he loves. kudos to him for making the most popular shonen since the big 3 were at their peaks. but yeah frankly saturday was boring as hell. kyle was tired, i mostly just hung out and he mostly worked on music, enjoyed each other's company, just a nice boring day which is really what i needed after earlier in the week.
i also cooked a banger dinner saturday night:
got some editing & writing in, and made some progress on fate. i wanted to finish the fate route this week, but with the whole lost two days to mental illness, that just wasn't happening lol. but that's okay. my pesto gnocchi came out perfectly.
sunday: dawn of the final day, as they say. 24 hours remain! it was... an interesting day, for sure. took my first dose of new brain pills. kyle went out early to go skateboarding with his friend who is visiting from germany. this guy lived next to kyle growing up and actually gave him his first skateboard - he's a bit older than us, and kyle's always really liked him and so i was super happy that he was visiting and they got to hang out again for the next few weeks.
unfortunately it did not go as planned OTL kyle, of course because we are cursed i stg, fell and super damaged his wrist bad enough he was concerned it was broken, and he also??? somehow got a fucking PARKING TICKET??? ON A SUNDAY???? who in cambridge is checking meters on a sunday he was there for an hour tops. so he came home very upset understandably! but i was like okay crisis control mode. it's so funny, when i am the one having issues, i cannot function. when someone ELSE is having a crisis, i am perfectly in control and fine. it's dumb lol. anyways i went to cvs and got him a brace, made sure he was icing it properly, and told will to come over and keep him company because he'd need it lol.
idk what was wrong with me, though, maybe the meds? because i was wicked aggravated once will got there. i think it was the meds bc it was immediately after taking my wellbutrin that i felt like i was going to rip will's head off. so i just ended up going into the bedroom and reading for awhile. kyle asked me what was up and i let him know that i think it was the meds and that i just needed some space, which he handled really well considering the kind of day he was having lol. he corralled will out of the house for a walk, and gave me free roam of the house for awhile. this was good and helped i think. i finished up case file compendium volume 2, which i ended up REALLY enjoying by the latter half of the book. not my favorite danmei that's been licensed, but their insanity was a good read. i really look forward to finding out what the fuck happens next lol. i also ended up getting a chance to finish a new seisub mmv, which i am still pretty happy with. this song is really genuinely SO perfect for them. even the verse before this one:
Sulfur on your breath
after i posted this, will went home and i just hung out and read for awhile more while kyle worked on that song again. it's coming along rather well! since i finished case file compendium 2, i started 7th time loop, the light novel not the manga. i'm really enjoying it! like way more than i expected lol. it's very fun, and the main ship is actually very much to my taste in that otome isekai genre (not surprising, that's what i suspected and why i bought the book awhile ago. kyle also took me to mcdonalds so i could get one of the sanrio/yugioh crossover toys (i already bought myself the blue eyes white cinnamoroll when it first dropped everywhere else, and jason grabbed me the kuriboh/keroppi one while he was in scotland because he loves me) but they. gave me the other toy. sobs. i was so sad but we were both too tired/stressed to ask for the right one LOL. oh well i still got fries.
i ALSO remembered i had agreed to write a second collab piece for the spod zine i was in and...entirely forgot about it until sunday.... so i speed ran the whole fic in one evening which normally isn't too impressive for me, i routinely write 3k+ in a day, but this was smut and i am TERRIBLE at writing smut quickly, so i am still pleased about it lmao.
anyways, it was a fairly reasonable end to the week. i was very stressed about starting work again, but that's for next sunday :)
last week's goals? didn't meet a single one! oh well. my extremely cursed personal edit can come out on my birthday, or something lmao.
Granite in my chest
You won't ever have to talk about it
You'll never want to talk about it
Fury too damn late
Reason dislocates
And you'll never have to talk about it
You'll never want to talk about it
and then, of course,
i LOVE sleep token, if you couldn't tell. this album is just SO stellar. love it a lot. anyways, the mmv:
I was more than just a body in your passenger seat
And you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet
I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me
i LOVE sleep token, if you couldn't tell. this album is just SO stellar. love it a lot. anyways, the mmv:
after i posted this, will went home and i just hung out and read for awhile more while kyle worked on that song again. it's coming along rather well! since i finished case file compendium 2, i started 7th time loop, the light novel not the manga. i'm really enjoying it! like way more than i expected lol. it's very fun, and the main ship is actually very much to my taste in that otome isekai genre (not surprising, that's what i suspected and why i bought the book awhile ago. kyle also took me to mcdonalds so i could get one of the sanrio/yugioh crossover toys (i already bought myself the blue eyes white cinnamoroll when it first dropped everywhere else, and jason grabbed me the kuriboh/keroppi one while he was in scotland because he loves me) but they. gave me the other toy. sobs. i was so sad but we were both too tired/stressed to ask for the right one LOL. oh well i still got fries.
i ALSO remembered i had agreed to write a second collab piece for the spod zine i was in and...entirely forgot about it until sunday.... so i speed ran the whole fic in one evening which normally isn't too impressive for me, i routinely write 3k+ in a day, but this was smut and i am TERRIBLE at writing smut quickly, so i am still pleased about it lmao.
anyways, it was a fairly reasonable end to the week. i was very stressed about starting work again, but that's for next sunday :)
last week's goals? didn't meet a single one! oh well. my extremely cursed personal edit can come out on my birthday, or something lmao.
hopes for next week:
- catalogue my wardrobe! i realized while putting away laundry i have a LOT more clothes than i thought lmao
- idk i wanna bake something. maybe bread or some cookies.
- i think it would be very cool if i could finish a fic or two this week lmao
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Date: 2024-09-09 02:09 am (UTC)